For someone
Sex Toy Secret Santa and Yankee Swap Gifts: 13 Funny Picks Under $35
The gift that gets the loudest laugh at the swap, and a very different reaction later that night.
Reviewed by Bedside CSO (Chief Sex Officer) · Prices checked · How we rank
Best for most peopleUpdated
The iroha stick lipstick vibe ($19.99) for an office-party-safe-ish unwrap, the Pleasure Engine Rose ($29.99) as the crowd-pleaser, and the CalExotics Glow Stick Mushroom ($32.50) for a friends-only white elephant. Every pick is body-safe and $9.99 to $34.95.
- Office-party-safe-ish: iroha stick (No. 1) Shop $19.99 →
- The crowd-pleaser: Pleasure Engine The Rose (No. 2) Shop $29.99 →
- Lights-off laugh: CalExotics Glow Stick Mushroom (No. 3) Shop $32.50 →
- Under $10: Naughty Bits Roll With It (No. 4) Shop $9.99 →
The verdict
For a sex toy Secret Santa or Yankee swap, the iroha stick lipstick vibe ($19.99) is the safest funny unwrap, the Pleasure Engine Rose ($29.99) is the crowd-pleaser, and the CalExotics Glow Stick Mushroom ($32.50) wins any lights-off white elephant. Every pick here is body-safe, in stock and between $9.99 and $34.95.
- Office-party-safe-ish: the iroha stick looks exactly like a lipstick, $19.99.
- The crowd-pleaser: the Pleasure Engine Rose, a red silicone air-pulse bloom for $29.99.
- Friends-only showstopper: a glow-in-the-dark mushroom dildo in soft silicone, $32.50.
Quick picks
Office-party-safe-ishNo. 1 ↓
iroha stick
Lipstick vibe, $19.99
Shop $19.99 at irohaThe crowd-pleaserNo. 2 ↓
Pleasure Engine The Rose
Rose air-pulse toy, $29.99
Shop $29.99 at SheVibeLights-off laughNo. 3 ↓
CalExotics Glow Stick Mushroom
$26.95 to $32.50Glowing silicone dildo, $32.50
Shop $32.50 at SheVibeUnder $10No. 4 ↓
Naughty Bits Roll With It
Sex dice, $9.99
Shop $9.99 at SheVibe
Quick answers
- What is the best sex toy Secret Santa or Yankee swap gift?
- The iroha stick lipstick vibe ($19.99) for an office-party-safe-ish unwrap, the Pleasure Engine Rose ($29.99) as the crowd-pleaser, and the CalExotics Glow Stick Mushroom ($32.50) for a friends-only white elephant. Every pick is body-safe and $9.99 to $34.95.
- What is a good cheaper sex toy Secret Santa or Yankee swap gift?
- The Naughty Bits Roll With It (No. 4 on our list, $9.99 at the last price check) is the pick to grab if you want to spend less than the No. 1.
- Where can I buy the iroha stick?
- We link to iroha. Every store gets the same size button on the card, and prices are re-checked when we update the guide.
- How do you rank these?
- By what people actually buy and search for, owner reviews, whether it is in stock, and how well it fits this list. Stores pay us a commission on some links, but that never moves a rank.
At a glance
Compare the top 8
- 1
iroha stickOffice-party-safe-ish$19.99from 28 reviews$19.99 → - 2
Pleasure Engine The RoseThe crowd-pleaser$29.99Too new to rate$29.99 → - 3
CalExotics Glow Stick MushroomLights-off laugh$26.95 to $32.50Too new to rate$32.50 → - 4
Naughty Bits Roll With ItUnder $10$9.99Too new to rate$9.99 → - 5
Scandal Lovers Tape$9.99Too new to rate$9.99 → - 6
Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibrator$12.99Too new to rate$12.99 → - 7
Gaia Eco Bullet, Coral$11.95 to $14.99Too new to rate$14.99 → - 8
Screaming O 4B DoubleO 6, Kiwi$23.99Too new to rate$23.99 →
The ranking
The swap-worthy picks, funniest unwrap first
Ranked by demand, review quality, availability, and fit. Stars are owner review averages from the store or brand site, where there are enough reviews.
No. 1 · irohaPhoto at the top ↑
Office-party-safe-ish
iroha stick
Lipstick vibe, $19.99
Ships discreetly from iroha
A vibrator dressed as a lipstick, so the unwrap reads as makeup until somebody twists the base. The buzz climbs smoothly, the tip is soft silicone, and one AAA lasts for hours.
Pros
- Passes for makeup in a room full of coworkers.
Cons
- Takes one AAA battery, not USB
- Tip only: it is a clit toy, not an insertable
Why it ranks: Looks like lipstick, works like a vibe. The safest unwrap on the list.
No. 2 · Pleasure Engine
The crowd-pleaser
Pleasure Engine The Rose
Rose air-pulse toy, $29.99
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
The rose toy everyone has heard about, in a red silicone bloom with nine pressure-wave modes. It gets a gasp on the unwrap and a thank-you text in January.
Pros
- Nine air-pulse modes in soft silicone.
Cons
- Splash resistant, not for the bath
- Air-pulse, so it needs direct skin contact to work
Why it ranks: The famous rose, under $30. Laughs first, then a very good night.
No. 3 · CalExotics
Lights-off laugh
CalExotics Glow Stick Mushroom
Glowing silicone dildo, $32.50
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
A soft silicone dildo printed with mushrooms that glow in the dark. Turn the lights off at the party and it wins the swap on the spot.
Pros
- Soft, bendy and it actually glows.
Cons
- Six inches, soft and bendy, not for firm-toy fans
- Charge the glow under a lamp first
Why it ranks: Glow-in-the-dark mushrooms on body-safe silicone. Nobody steals anything else after this.
No. 4 · CalExotics
Under $10
Naughty Bits Roll With It
Sex dice, $9.99
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
Two picture dice: one picks the move, one picks the spot. Cheap, giggly and easy to pass around before anyone opens the wine.
Pros
- Fits in a card envelope.
Cons
- Icons, not toys: pair it with a bullet for a real gift
- Friends-only: the pictures are not subtle
Why it ranks: The cheapest laugh on the list, and couples actually play it.
No. 5 · CalExotics
Scandal Lovers Tape
Bondage tape, $9.99
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
Roughly 49 feet of black tape that sticks only to itself. Wrap the box with it as a joke, then tell them it is the actual gift.
Pros
- No sticky residue on skin or hair.
Cons
- Keep scissors nearby and never wrap the neck
- Not for long sessions: check circulation often
Why it ranks: Doubles as wrapping paper. Then it doubles as bondage tape.
No. 6 · Vibeology
Vibeology Aeronaut Mini Vibrator
Mini vibe, $12.99
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
A tiny rechargeable, waterproof mini vibe in body-safe ABS with three speeds and seven patterns. Small enough for a stocking, strong enough to be the real present.
Pros
- Rechargeable and waterproof.
Cons
- Hard ABS, not soft silicone
- Small, so the buzz is pinpoint, not rumbly
Why it ranks: A USB-charging mini vibe for the price of a fancy coffee order.
No. 7 · Blush
Gaia Eco Bullet, Coral
Eco bullet, $14.99
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
A bullet vibe made from plant-based bioplastic. Hand it to the friend who composts and watch them try to be offended.
Pros
- Lighter footprint than standard plastic.
Cons
- Runs on a battery, not USB
- Simple on/off, no patterns
Why it ranks: The sustainable stocking stuffer. One button, real buzz.
No. 8 · Screaming O
Screaming O 4B DoubleO 6, Kiwi
Vibrating ring, $23.99
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
A stretchy, kiwi-green double ring with a little vibrating motor. Funny color, genuinely useful for the couple who swear they are too busy for date night.
Pros
- Stretchy fit, built-in motor.
Cons
- Battery powered, not rechargeable
- Stretchy elastomer: wash with warm water and toy cleaner
Why it ranks: A loud green ring with a real motor, for the couple in the group.
No. 9 · TENGA
TENGA Spinner
TENGA Spinner, $25.99
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
A sleeve with an internal coil that twists as you stroke. Out of the box it looks like a design-store desk toy, which is half the joke.
Pros
- Twisting coil does the work for you.
Cons
- Friends-only once anyone reads the box
- Water-based lube only
Why it ranks: A well-reviewed stroker that looks like a desk gadget.
No. 10 · Fleshlight
Fleshlight Quickshot
Fleshlight Quickshot, $34.95
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
A short, open-ended Fleshlight that fits in a palm. Funny to unwrap, and owners rate it highly for partner play and quick solo sessions.
Pros
- Palm-sized and easy to rinse.
Cons
- Open ends: lube is a must
- Not office-safe. At all
Why it ranks: The Fleshlight people actually use, at swap budget.
More ranked picks
No. 11 · Creature Cocks
Creature Cocks Unicorn Swirl Plug
A pink, blue and purple swirl silicone plug with a wide flared base. The unicorn fan in your group has been waiting for this moment.
Too new to rate
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
No. 12 · Whipsmart
Whipsmart Dragon's Lair Collar, Leash & Nipple Clips
A dragon-themed collar, leash and nipple clips in one box. Perfect for the friend whose group-chat name is just a dragon emoji.
Too new to rate
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
No. 13 · Gläs
Gläs Sweetheart
A curved glass wand with a heart-shaped handle. Looks like an ornament in the box, works beautifully warmed or chilled.
Too new to rate
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
Notes from Bedside CSO (Chief Sex Officer)
Notes from Bedside CSO (Chief Sex Officer)
Every Secret Santa has one wild card, and this year it can be you. The trick is a gift that gets the laugh when it is unwrapped and still earns its spot in a nightstand afterward: real materials, real motors, no novelty junk that falls apart by New Year's.
Every pick below is body-safe (silicone, glass, ABS or a sealed sleeve), in stock at the exact price shown, and $35 or less. We split them into office-party-safe-ish and friends-only, so you know which ones to save for the group chat crowd.
Before you buy
Buying guide
Office-party-safe-ish vs friends-only
Only bring a sex toy to a work swap if everyone agreed to an adults-only round. Even then, keep it to the iroha stick, which looks like a lipstick, or the Pleasure Engine Rose, which reads as decor until you look closely. The mushroom, the plug, the dragon set and the strokers are friends-only: save them for the group that already has a very loud chat.
Funny, but still body-safe
Gag gifts are where cheap jelly toys hide. Everything here is silicone, glass, ABS, a sealed elastomer or a self-sticking tape, so the joke never ends with an awkward rash. Skip anything that smells strongly of plastic or does not list its material.
Yankee swap strategy
In a Yankee swap or white elephant, the gift that gets stolen the most is the one that is funny and actually useful. The Rose and the glow-in-the-dark mushroom tend to change hands three times. The dice and the tape are the safe opener when you are not sure how bold the room is.
Read this first
Mistakes to avoid
Wrap it like you mean it
Use a plain box so nobody guesses from the shape, add a tag that says only who it is for, and tuck a small Sliquid lube or toy cleaner inside if your budget allows. A joke that comes with lube is a gift.
House rules for an adults-only swap
Agree up front that the round is adults-only, that anyone can pass on a gift with no teasing, and that unopened toys can be swapped quietly afterward. A little consent keeps the laughing friendly.
FAQ
Common questions
- Is a sex toy an OK Secret Santa gift?
- Only in a group that agreed to an adults-only exchange. For work, keep it to something that looks harmless, like the iroha stick lipstick vibe, or skip it.
- What is a funny but usable sex toy gift under $35?
- The rose air-pulse toy, the glowing mushroom dildo and the lipstick vibe all get a laugh and still work like proper toys.
- What is the cheapest pick here?
- Naughty Bits Roll With It dice and Scandal Lovers Tape, both $9.99.
- Are these gag gifts body-safe?
- Yes. Every material on the list is one you can clean properly, and none of it is cheap jelly rubber.
- What is the difference between a Yankee swap and a white elephant?
- They are the same game with different names: everyone brings one wrapped gift, and players can open a new one or steal one already opened.
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