Together
Best strap-on positions for beginners
Wearing a strap-on takes a few tries to feel natural. These positions give both of you the easiest first night.
Reviewed by Bedside CSO (Chief Sex Officer) · Prices checked · How we rank
The verdict
Start with the receiver on top, because they set the depth and speed while the wearer learns how the harness moves. A slim, harness-ready dildo like the Vixen Mustang in a Sportsheets Breathable harness is the easiest first setup, plus a wedge for missionary.
- Easiest first position: receiver on top.
- Best first dildo: Vixen Mustang.
- Budget harness: Sportsheets Breathable.
Quick picks
Best first dildoNo. 1 ↓
Vixen Mustang
Why it's here: Slim, flared base, sits flat in a harness.
Shop $125.75 at SheVibeships free
Budget harnessNo. 2 ↓
Sportsheets Breathable Strap On
$41.99 to $42
Shop $42 at SheVibeLift for missionaryNo. 5 ↓
Liberator Wedge
No harness neededNo. 3 ↓
Strap-on-Me Silicone Strapless (Small)
Shop $91.99 at SheVibeships free
At a glance
Compare the top 6
- 1
Vixen MustangBest first dildo$125.75from 16 reviews$125.75 → - 2
Sportsheets Breathable Strap OnBudget harness$41.99 to $42Too new to rate$42 → - 3
Strap-on-Me Silicone Strapless (Small)No harness needed$91.99Too new to rate$91.99 → - 4
Tantus Silk Small$31.99Too new to rate$31.99 → - 5
Liberator WedgeLift for missionary$108 to $110Too new to rate$108 → - 6
Sliquid Sassy$13.99Too new to rate$13.99 →
Try these
The positions
1. Receiver on top
The wearer lies back and the receiver straddles them, lowering down at their own pace. This is the best first position because the person receiving controls everything, and the wearer just enjoys the view.
Vixen Mustang
2. Wedge-lifted missionary
The receiver lies back with a wedge under their hips. The lift lines the angle up so the wearer does not have to crouch, and you can kiss the whole time.
3. Spooning
Both of you on your sides, the wearer behind. Thrusts stay short and gentle, which makes this a soft, cozy first try, especially for anal play.
Sportsheets Breathable Strap On
4. Edge of the bed
The receiver lies back at the edge of the bed and the wearer stands. Standing gives the wearer the most control over the harness, and their hands stay free.
Sportsheets Breathable Strap On
5. Lazy from behind
The receiver lies flat on their stomach with a pillow under the hips and the wearer leans over them. It is shallower and more relaxed than classic doggy, so it is kinder for a first time.
Sliquid Sassy
6. Seated lap
The wearer sits against the headboard and the receiver sits in their lap facing them. Very close, very slow, and easy to pause and check in.
Vixen Mustang
7. Strapless face to face
If a harness feels fiddly, a strapless strap-on is held in place by the wearer's own body. Face-to-face missionary on a wedge is the easiest place to try one.
Strap-on-Me Silicone Strapless (Small)
The ranking
Strap-on gear for these positions, ranked
Ranked by demand, review quality, availability, and fit. Stars are owner review averages from the store or brand site, where there are enough reviews.
No. 1 · Vixen CreationsPhoto at the top ↑
Best first dildo
Vixen Mustang
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
Soft VixSkin that gives like real skin over a firm core. It's the dildo people put in the Joque. Run it under warm water first and it feels even closer to the real thing.
Pros
- VixSkin dual-density silicone
- Flared base
Cons
- About 1.6 inches wide. New to pegging? Start slimmer
- Water-based lube, mild soap
Why it ranks: Best first dildo: slim, flared base that sits flat in a harness O-ring.
No. 2 · Sportsheets
Budget harness
Sportsheets Breathable Strap On
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
The harness for long, warm nights: air moves through it, so it stays comfortable well past the first round.
Pros
- Breathable mesh, padded hips
- Adjusts to 60-inch hips
- Swappable O-rings
Cons
- Dildo not included
- Bullet pocket is empty until you add a bullet
Why it ranks: Budget harness with breathable mesh and three O-ring sizes.
No. 3 · Strap-on-Me
No harness needed
Strap-on-Me Silicone Strapless (Small)
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
Wearer's bulb plus a shaft, sized for a first try. Flexible neck. No motor. Keep a harness in the drawer for when it slips.
Pros
- Body-safe silicone
Cons
- Smaller is still two insertables
- A harness still helps
Why it ranks: No harness at all; held in place by the wearer for face-to-face play.
No. 4 · Tantus
Tantus Silk Small
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
A slim, silky first insertable you can actually picture before it arrives. Quiet, simple, and nothing to charge.
Pros
- About 4.25 inches long and 0.8 inches wide
- Platinum silicone that's easy to clean
- Flared base, so it's safe for anal too
Cons
- Water-based lube only on silicone
- Flared base matters if you take it anal: this size can, if you want that
Why it ranks: An even smaller harness-ready silicone dildo for very first tries.
No. 5 · Liberator
Lift for missionary
Liberator Wedge
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
High-density foam ramp with a 27-degree incline and removable microfiber cover that holds hips at the right angle without flattening mid-session.
Cons
- Too big for a nightstand drawer; store it in a closet or at the head of the bed
- Buy the moisture liner if you use lots of lube
Why it ranks: Lifts the receiver's hips so missionary lines up without crouching.
No. 6 · Sliquid
Sliquid Sassy
Free shipping at SheVibe over $68. Tempted to treat yourself? Add a silky lube and it all ships free.
Ships discreetly from SheVibe
Same clean Sliquid formula, thicker. Gel that stays put. The one people grab for anal or for a night that needs padding, not a thin slick.
Cons
- Too thick for some vaginal nights. That's why H2O exists
- Still water-based. It can dry if you wait too long
Why it ranks: Thick water-based lube made for anal and strap-on play.
Notes from Bedside CSO (Chief Sex Officer)
Notes from Bedside CSO (Chief Sex Officer)
A strap-on moves differently from a body, so beginner positions are the ones where the receiver can steer and the wearer can stay steady. Slow, shallow and lots of lube wins every time.
Here are seven positions to start with, each with the gear that helps, followed by the strap-on setup we rank for beginners.
More position guides: Best positions for using a wand vibrator together, Best positions for couples vibrators like We-Vibe Sync 2 and Chorus, Best beginner anal positions (and the toys that make them easier), Best sex wedge positions (Liberator Wedge, Ramp and more), Best positions for hands-free and remote vibrators
Before you buy
Buying guide
What to wear for a first night
Choose a slim dildo with a flared base and a harness with an O-ring that fits it. Silicone dildos need water-based or a thick water-based anal lube. If you are planning anal play, warm up with a small plug first.
FAQ
Common questions
- What is the easiest strap-on position for beginners?
- Receiver on top. The receiving partner controls depth and pace, and the wearer can focus on keeping the harness steady.
- Do you need a wedge for strap-on sex?
- Not required, but a wedge under the receiver's hips fixes the most common problem in missionary: an awkward angle for the wearer.
Also on the shelf
Related lists
Best strap-onsThe cock and the harness we'd strap on tonight: soft-skin silicone in a harness that wears like underwear.Shop $129.50 at SheVibeships free
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How to use a strap-onLiberator Wedge leads our use a strap-on ranking. Real products still sold in the US, re-checked weekly.Shop $108 at SheVibeships free
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